News has just been released that five off duty Yorkshire firemen simultaneously spontaneously combusted in their own homes last week. According to chief fire officer Captain Flack, "all that was left of each of them was a pair of boots and a pile of ash; we are all completely shocked and mystified".
One victims widow, Mrs McGrew said "I thought I could smell something funny in the night" Mrs Cuthbert, another combustion widow, stated every cloud has a silver lining, as funeral expenses would be minimal. Mrs Dibble is still trying to come to terms with events, wanting answers to many questions; not least why her husband was wearing a pair of clown shoes at the time of the incident; but she admitted they were having money troubles.
Police, forensic experts and psychic investigators have been called in, in an attempt to solve the mystery.
Detectives have not ruled out foul play or that a crime may have been committed and are keeping an open mind. One passenger on a transatlantic flight this morning said he saw six canoeists, possibly en-route to Panama, former hideout of 'faked death canoeist' John Darwin. A police spokesman said "we would be looking for five men in canoes not six!" Although bright spark, investigating officer, constable McGarry, said "they could have had an accomplice and we may be looking for the "remains" of another "so called" spontaneous combustion victim.
Local vicar Harry Dilley said "it was the Lord's revenge for saving the lives of those who had been chosen to perish in house fires" He is now residing in hospital after two Mrs Pughes took offence to his comments!
Mr Grubb, a close colleague of the men said " one things for sure, role call will never be the same again": http://www.t-web.co.uk/flack1.wav
An artists impression of a fireman
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